10-28

wow so its been a wile way longer than I intended. things are ok but a bit on the stressy side for me or at least today was. my clocks got all messed up so I was almost late for work. and there has been stuff going on with the room mates that has been yucky. they are ok now but it was tough to see it happen to them. it brought a lot of stuff back for me. a lot of very sad feelings. I'm really glad I'm doing so well with my job and life in the general taking care of daily financial stuff aspect. I don't ever want to be homeless again. Ive spent a lot of years moving from one place to the next just kind of skating by. it feels good to be making my own way. granted I'm only just barely eking by but I'm still doing it. I have food to eat and a nice roof over my head. its not a very big roof but its mine. I don't have the means to get the new (new to me) car I desperately need. the van is in a bad way. I need to look at my finances and see if I can afford a new tire. one of my steel belted radials has broken a steel belt so I'm driving on a not so round tire now. it feels like I'm driving with a square tire. I'm afraid if I keep driving on it its going to bow out on me. I don't really want to bow a tire on the freeway so I need to get it fixed. and on top of the new tire I still need back brakes. right now its metal on metal which is interesting at the quick stops. my car feels like its hit a brick wall when I have to stop quickly. so mostly I just don't stop quickly I leave plenty of space in the efforts of stopping. slow and easy is the way its done now. with winter coming up the prospect of having only front breaks is a bit daunting and frankly scares the shit out of me. snow and ice with only partial breaks doesn't sound like a particularly healthy thing. dieing is not on my list of things to do this winter so I have to find a way to make the new breaks happen. I'm not entirely sure how to do it but I must and soon.