a great dream.

this is a great dream I had about a month back.

it started me taking a plane to visit with my friends in CA. I got there and everyone had decided to come visit me at my cousins house cause it was big and a great place for partys. the house was huge with all these marble pillers and beauty every where. it was run down though and needed some serious love. there was an absolutly beautiful cemetary in the front kinda off to the side that was over run with vines and needed care just like the rest of the house.

so Im at this house and people are there. just about everyone I know. everyone is in there little groups of friends and not realy socalizing with anyone else. people stop over to me to say hi but everyone is realy cold to me like Im a stranger.so I sit by this huge bon fire and watch people go by me saying hello. I know everyone there but they all are different some how.

the first day goes by and everyone starts finding places to sleep in the house. the house is huge so thats not a problem. my cousinElizabeth who owns the house with Sasha her husband are giving a few people a tour of the house trying to intrest people in coming and renting from them. they take us to a lace in the house that opens up to a long path that is about 4 inches wide and goes to another tree house like hut. there is a path on the ground but the area is infested with alagaters and is realy swamp like. the only way there is the skinny plank path. my friend Treasach loves it and decides to move in . we continue with the tour seeing grand rooms prepaired as apartments. huge bathing rooms with multiple soaking tubs and whole walls that are just huge waterfalls to shower in. rooms with luxurious pillows everywhere.the whole house was a dream palace to me.

most everyone is sleeping but me I feel lost and forgoten by alot of people I thought were my friends. I lay down on a couch in the front of the house but cant sleep. ther is a beautifull woman there that keeps checking on me .taking my pulse and telling me I should have eaten beter and needed sleep. I cant sleep so I jusst rest there. Tox a realy great guy shows up late. he has an airbrush set. so him and I start talking and he makes me feel realy good cause its like I was never gone to TX and he is still treating me like a friend. my sister wife S is there to. the 3 of us talk and start to explore the house. we hit the hot tub and put white terry cloth bathrobes on when we are done soaking. I say 'race you to the front' and tox whips out his airbrush and starts chasing S and me around the house. we all have airbrushes then and are playing tag and hide and go seek, painting on everything as we go trying to get one another with the paint. we went through all kinds of rooms. in some ther were people sleeping some people just talking the night through with close friends. we charged through the bathing room at one point. there were people everywhere having sex and relaxing in the water it was hard to not step in people going as fast as we were running. we get tired and finaly sleep all 3 of us together in puppy style comfort in one of the many rooms that are just filled with pillows to relax in.

I wake up befor alot of people and decide that I am going to go to the store for coffee and a lotto ticket. I am feeling beter about the way things are cause people are starting to wake up and everyone seems to be more welcoming, friendly and happy to see me. I ask if anyone wants something from the store. I have a napkin and a crayola and Im trying to take orders for the store. Im getting off things like a slice of pink birthday cake and a clean shirt. people are wanting odd things from the store but I figure ok they are paying all I have to do is go get it. I tell anyone wanting aloto ticket that I will buy them one but if they win they have to put 10% of the winings to fix up the house. when the orders are done I ask for a peace of paper co I can redo my chicken scratch list. J is there all of the sudden and takes the list from me and berates me for my unreedable hand writing. hehe he wont give back the list so off I go just remembering what people want.

I come back from the store in like a lunch cart type vehicle and the driver starts passing out all the orders to the people there at the house. I hand out the tickets and we all go to see what the drawing was and if any of us won. ther was a winnig ticket and 10% was set to the house to get it fixed. I went to the store and for the fixing suplies. alot of paint and airbrushes. I got everyone in front of the house and told them this wopuld be a place that would be taken care of forever and we could all leave our dreams and memorys here. everyone came and got paints.

the cemitary was awsome, the stimes repaired the weeds trimed back and roses flourished. it made my heart sing to see such a beautifull thing as the glory of wahat had once been great restored again. everyone had painted the house made it theres and mixed there memories with everyone elses. there were cologes and just swirld and blots of paint everywhere. it was the most beautifull house I have ever seen. there was a part of every single person in that house now. everyone had left something and it with the house would last forever. I was looking at the house and S touched my arm and sayed it was time to go. I looked at her and thought about staying. she said ' they are here and a part of them will be left forever. you cant say here and just think of the way things have been in the past. its time to go now'. I turned around put my arm around her shoulders and left the house but kept all the memorys.

I see that house in my mind every day all of the murals every swirl and stroke of color and I feel suck a great happyness and light in my heart knowing that everyone that I know left memorys in that house. that house is only in my head but it still makes me happy to see it.

I thank S for telling me it was time to leave the house. I could have spsnt the reast of my life in that house with my beautifull memorys all around me. in stead I have a well being that comes from knowing that it was ok to leave all the people that realy didnt think a whole lot of me anways. now I get to move on and build another house and and make it what I want insted of being traped in a place that was of someone elses making.

all in all a great dream. I know that it seems sad at first but it was a very liberating dream a total and compleat letting go of people that I know just dont care anymore. there are a few that have been great and kept contact with me and those are the people Im going to see when I do acualy go back to CA to visit again.