good day bad day

today was literally a roller coaster ride. I started the day off getting a job. its nothing much but its something and it really doesn't pay to shabby. I will be working in the garden center at walmart. so the morning was great I was feeling fabulous until I got home and checked my email and found all these messages from family telling me to call home that it was really important. first time around I couldn't get a hold of anyone. I was frustrated but still doing ok wondering what the big deal was and why everyone was trying to get a hold of me. after an hour or so I got a hold of my sister who was at my moms house. she told me that my step dad had had a stroke and was in the hospital. him having a stroke would have been ok but to add to it he had ripped all his tubes out and had suffered oxygen deprivation due to the fact. so he is in the hospital having suffered a total of 8 (that they could count) strokes and hypoxia cause he wouldn't leave his oxygen on. so the deal is that he is going to have sejures from his epilepsy cause he wont let them give him an IV. and he is going to dehydrate for the same reason. the strokes have left him unable to swallow. so he is in the hospital and he is dying. he could have lived through this but he wont tolerate all the tubes that have to be in him to keep him alive. right now he is in a room half paralyzed waiting to die. my sisters are getting me a bus ticket so I can see him before he dies. I don't want to be saying goodbye to him. I'm not ready for him to die. I know thats selfish of me but its just the way it is.