2/6

YAY its my friday. I get the next 3 days off from work. its been a hell of a week.

my therapist called me tonight wondering what had happened to me. I missed an appointment with her when my dad died and hadn't made another one since then. it was nice to have her call me. I kinda caught her up on my life so far. she was happy about me having a job and sad for me about my dad dieing. she is a nice person I don't know about her being a good therapist but she is ok for the moment.

I was reading a book last night and they had a thing about loving someone who doesn't love you back. they went into yes its hard but its better than not loving them and having a hole in your heart where that love had been. Id rather feel love than know that its missing. I need love in my life. Ive learned so much from being in love with someone who doesn't love me back. its not the friendship kind of love its the whole heart shining when you see them kind of love. its a good love and I wont feel ashamed for it. I have pain that goes along with it but for me thats just along with the process of learning to live with loving and not being loved back. 'love is a 2 way street' is a saying Ive heard before. I'm learning that that is not always the case.