10-14... again

yeah putting your dog down or any animal really sucks the big one and not in a good way. I'm tired and worn out. I feel empty. the pain in my heart after leaving the vets office was horrible. worse in a way than loosing Roudy. Roudy was my first dog he got hit by a car way back when I still lived in CA. I feel lost. I keep feeling like I should be doing something but I cant figure out what it is. I havent even been reading just chatting with Jer and sitting in my house. Syd came down and is just hanging out and doing her home work from school. I feel bad but I know I did the right thing. the people Ive talked to today are all validating the rightness of what had to be done. Ill miss Brin waking me up in the middle of the night to go out side. that sounds stupid