1-30

being sick sucks the big fat ass. had to call in sick yesterday. having customers bitch at me for getting sick germs on there stuff gets old fast. calling in sick did get me out of the last day of a 7 day week. 7 days working in a row is just to much for me. I started the week out feeling cruddy and so tired. going through most of it in the full blown ick was the definite suck. on a good note my tax returns came in yesterday. my car is in the shop yay. driving with no rear breaks I could handle driving with no resistance on my break petal cause I had a serious break fluid leak was scarier than shit. I drove with it like that for a couple days. I was so glad when the money came in I called the break place right away and took the beast in to be fixed. they are only doing minimal stuff to keep me safe and running. new break lines cause my fell apart when they went to check them. new break cylinder, pads and an oil change. Jer has a job so the car really only has to last a couple more months. 4 at the most. in that time we should be able to get together the money to get a car. car places are happier when you give them a few thousand down on a car loan. Jer cant get a car loan strait out and I'm sure my credit isn't good enough to get one aether. with a few thousand down we should be able to get started into a car ok. it will be so nice to not be driving the death trap anymore. granted I love the van but its old and its time for it to retire. the van is well into 260,000 miles and stuff is just starting to fall apart. the zip tie on the passenger side wind shield wiper is a great look. had to tie it down after it quit working and kept flying up and getting stuck on the driver side wiper. its nice that it was the passenger side that quit. hell I only really need the driver side wiper anyways. I have been told by a few people that having one not working could get me a ticket. so I avoid the cops.

Garry Jules - Mad world rocks. great song very cool video. having the day off is great but having no one else here is odd. its so quiet. yesterday I kept busy. I cleaned and went to the store. having cleaned yesterday there isn't much to do today. maybe Ill go up and clean trav ans shels place just for something to do. I don't much feel like reading probably cause I'm sick. its just to freekin quiet. with Jer working now there is not going to be someone home to keep me company on my days off. so sad Ill just have to get used to it.

1-22

Ok so its cold. took a nap yesterday and it was 51 when I woke up. thank god for my electric blanket. we took a trip to the wally world and bought a heater to keep the room above freezing. its been in the low 30s for the last couple days. its a balmy 22 out right now. the grass hasn't unfroze for the last few days. the full moon last night rocked it was so clear. I'm hoping for rain and some cloud cover to pull the temp up though. we are supposed to get snow this weekend. did I mention that its cold. Wednesday is going to suck its the start of a 7 day work week. I hate those! not only is it a long week but I start super early. waking up at 4 to go to work is not on my favorite list of things to do. the day should go by quick though so I'm hoping it wont suck to badly.

1-20

well after much with the interviewedness Jer got a job with Microsoft. he has orientation tomorrow and then its off to the working force. he is making waaay more than me surprise surprise him being the one with the mad skilz. it will be nice to have the extra mula. bills can start to get payed by us instead of the granny parents. and a new car is going to be in order for me. my car is in a sad state. the wind sheild wipers gave it up the other day. with much prodding and pleading I got the drivers side working again. thats the only one I need so Im glad its working. the back breaks are still non existent but with 4 good tires the care is manageable. I still don't like anyone else driving it but I manage just fine. I don't feel like I'm going to die every time I get in it so I figure its got a few thousand more miles in her before she is permanently retired. I'm in for the crazy week at work coming up in a few days. the solid 7 day work week sucks. I mean how hard would it be to look at the previous week before making the next weeks schedule. very hard apparently. the person making our schedules doesn't even work on the front end of the store and is doing a shitty job of it. I just have to ride it out all bad things pass. I may even get to go back to my department in the next couple months. lol there is always hope even if faith is lacking. Facebook has been really cool lately. Ive been getting in touch with a lot of people. ok tired must read. later.

1-11

OMG I am so tired. I late shift last night and an early shift this morning and having 6 hours of sleep blows for me. I had to eat and then go straight to bed. the day dragged on so badly. but I'm home now and I don't have to work tomorrow so I'm pretty happy about that. Oh and I get pizza for dinner so things are good.

I'm reading Brian Herbert's: The Race For God. its a good book, funny and thought provoking. I ran into a passage today I wanted to share.
"There are different dimensions of the word "love," dimensions lost in the vast umbrella of the word. We feel love in varying subcategories and intensities for different people, and too often we speak the work for the wrong reasons, when we want something, when we want to take something. Thus love becomes tainted, for it is narcissistic. More than all other words, love is ultimately meaningless, for it means too many different things to different people. It means to many bad things. The best and purest definition: Love is giving all of yourself while expecting nothing in return." it made a lot of sense to me and was a real punch when I read it. it was just momentarily profound or something. anyways I just wanted to share it with you. its not often that I read something that makes me really want to share it with others.

1-5

I'm tired and the dog gave me i kick in the back this morning that set it off so its pain city today. and I have to work so its doubly sucky. the last couple of days were good one was my regular day off and the other was a don't bother to come to work because we don't have the hours. the extra day off was nice the 14 hours worth of a pay check is going to suck. the next couple of weeks aren't going to be any better. I'm actually thinking of calling in sick today. gods the back is pissy. I know they are going to cut my hours anyways so why not volunteer then anyways. well if I take off today they might cut me the other days anyways so then I would be doubly screwed. I cant really afford for my pay check to be any smaller. I have to be able to pay the bills so I'm going to work pain or no. and just to say it again that really sucks. ok bitching time is over. have a great day everyone!!

1-3

I do like this pic so I decided to share. there aren't a lot of pics of me out there.I know it was years ago that this was taken but its still me.

1-2

the new year came and went and I'm still here. Yay. work is the suck. they are cutting hours back. I have a whopping 16 hours this week down from the 32 it was planned to be. went in on the 31st to find that he store was closing 2 hours after the start of my shift. going in to work for 2 hours is a wast of my time and gas. they just thought it would be a good way to cut hours by not telling us we were closing. there were a lot of pissed off people. then I get a call today to tell me not to come in tomorrow. other than the suck that is work things are going ok. new years was fun with Trav and Shel and Jer all playing Rock Band. I haven't played it yet and I'm not so sure I'm going to but it sure is fun to watch them play. I'm not really looking forward to the next 2 months worth of hours being cut down to nothing at work but I'm sure Ill survive. they have only promising 15 hours to full time associates. the rest of us are just screwed and will be picking up the leavings. I was told it was coming but it sucks all the same. I'm going to go get a hair cut in the next couple of days. I need it and I'm hoping it will freshen me up a bit. make me feel a bit better. I like my hair short and bouncy. right now its past my shoulders and just seems to feel heavy and limp. lol funny thing happened yesterday. Shel was hanging up pictures at her place and one of Syd's friends was there. she saw a picture of me and said whose that. Syd said it was me and she said wow you used to be pretty. all I could think was ouch burn. it was amusing and I will say the pic of me is one I really like. Ill be posting it here and on my other pages soon. love you all and I hope the last year was good and the new one turns out to be better.