8-21

so much to say. having some issues. in away thats normal for me I'm just unsure of how to deal with it. asking for clarification flat out usually gets me nothing or more questions I want answered. being in an emotional limbo does suck but is it better than being somewhere I'm not prepared to be. well thats vague and unhelpful inst it?

Ive spent the morning catching up on some blogs I haven't read in a wile...since Jer last flattened my comp. way to long to say the least. I miss them. the Chris and Crissy and the Treasach and Mat. miss them a lot. haven't seen them in way to long. way linger for the C and C then for the later. taking some time and going on a visit trip would be with the awesomeness but I'm not seeing it happening in the near future. I have the car to do it but not the fundage. makes me sad.

the girls at work are thinking up a trip to the local 'toy' store. it could be fun and interesting and more than a little amusing. there are a couple of the girls I could really be friends with if time and opposing work schedules weren't an issue. having personal time isn't easy to arrange when there isn't a day to get together. having friends would be nice. though I'm still a little leary of hairy a friendship with someone I'm working with. the store politics are so messed up anything could be an issue. my work schedule has been changed again. it seems that I'm the only one reliable with a movable schedule. they are taking advantage of it believe me. I'm now working 2 closing shifts and 2 open shifts. having to take the days they needed to be able to have a person their they could count on led me to working closes and then opens the next day . its sucky on the sleep and is cutting in to my WoW time. its taking me a bit to acclimate to it. I'm finding my self tired and cranky more than I want to be. hopefully Ill adjust to it soon.

been to a chiropractor recently. won a free massage and consult and did it to see just how bad things were. my spine is way out of whack and I have some nice calcification (bone spurs) in my neck. I would love to work on getting my spine to a better place than its in now but the 4k bill for a years work is way out of my league. so Ill continue on with the pain thats plaguing me. sucks but thats life. looking at all the x-rays they took was fun. my head is on crooked. yeah its funny in more than one sense.

so life marches on. I'm sure in a couple days me mental unease will settle and life will just go on. until then I get to live in my skin that just doesn't feel like it fits right.

8-19

so its roughly 3 weeks till my birthday. I want to do something but I don't want it to suck. Ill be working the morning but I ask for the after noon off. its a Monday so everyone will be working so I didn't see the need to take the day off. my perfect birthday wish would be to see Treasach and Mat. Ive been really missing them lately. Ive even had the impulse to drive down and visit them just so I could get a full on snuggle with them. they do show me the love. been thinking about them a lot. they are the closest people to me who I know I can go to to get the lovin snuggling I need a lot right now. I just might have to make time for a trip to see them.

8-10

so today was the long day from hell. it was the usual weekend day with a full shift at work open to close. Sundays arent bad really its an 8-6:30 shift but we had a store meeting on top of that which didn't get over till 9:30. getting up at 6 and getting home at 10 blows the big chunks. I'm tired and I didn't even get any at home time really. its time for bed and I just really got home. yeah Ive had days where I was out all day but not at work. it was lame. I'm hoping not to do it again soon. we got the ugliest puppy in today. it was a mistake from the breeder. its a French bulldog/Scottie mix. its so ugly its sad. its not even one of those puppies that is so ugly its cute its just ugly. I'm hoping the thing sells fast just so I don't have to look at it any more. I'm glad we got more puppies in today we were getting really low. we were down to 6 from the 23 we had last week. yeah so 23 is just about what we can hold comfortably in one kennel room. the other kennel room is smaller and ass. home pluming jobs shouldn't be done in businesses where the sink has to be used constantly. we are supposed to be getting a remodel soon of the store. it needs it mostly they need to redo the second kennel room so its functional. ok enough complaining. time for a couple minutes of reading till Jer is ready for bed.

8-6

its hard for me to believe that another year has just flown by. in another month and a day I will be 32. crazy. things have been good. I did something to my right side that has been a bit of a pain...literally. Ive been jeeping icy hot on it and its been slowly working back to better. its going to be all kinds of pissed off today after work. we get shipment in so I have a lot to do at work. reading a great book. its by Stephenie Meyer the author of Eclipse. I liked her other stuff so I decided to read it. The Host is fabulous. I'm recommending it to anyone who likes to read. its a great psychological thriller. ok I have to get to the library before work.