3/30

yet again its been a wile. the shoulder has continued to be stupid. on 2-29 my Dr. attempted to go in and break up the calcification in my shoulder and remove it by sucking it out through a needle. the attempt was a fail. a couple days after the procedure I ended up going back in because I was in a considerable amount of pain and shouldn't have been. it felt like the needles from the procedure were left in my shoulder. my Dr. assured me he didnt leave them in there and gave me a referral to see a surgeon. the surgeon even without all the records he should have had (my records had been sent over to the wrong office) said he wanted me scheduled for surgery asap. after waiting what seemed like way to long I finally got the approval from L&I. I have a surgery date on the 25th but will take any available opening due to a cancellation that comes up. the approvals run out on the 27th. the closeness of my current surgery date and the approval deadline running out are very close and doesn't leave any time if something goes wrong.

a couple months ago my Dr referred me to a pain psychologist. the guy is just great and I love him. he is the only dr that I have ever met that said he wanted to treat me even though I couldn't pay him. L&I can take a wile to get approvals through and he said it could be months waiting. it blew me away that he went ahead with treatment even though he might never be compensated for his time. he is so awesome. we really work well together and he is helping me deal with a lot of the issues that have developed and been amplified by being in pain for so long and the fight its been trying to get back into forking order dealing with my shoulder. I think the most amusing thing so far has been him teling me to ask myself when Im in a really emotional place "what would Jeremy do?" since Jer thinks very logical most of the time its a good reference point to work with. and quite amusing.

recovering from the surgery is really going to blow. from what Im being told about the procedure they are going to go in laproscopicly and remove the calcification and repair any damage done to my tendon and rotator cuff and cut my biceps tendon so its no longer in the way of the super spenatus tendon. the thought of them cutting a tendon is a bit scary. Im told people have it done and recover from it all the time. my arm will be immobilize for 4-6 weeks after the surgery and I wont be able bear weight with it for weeks after that. its going to be a long time of taking the bus to dr apt and places I need to go. driving is rough at the moment but at least Im managing. its pretty scary whats in store for me but ill get through it. I have to if I want to have a working shoulder again.